


How to Handle a Woman

by Marzos



Category: Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 09:33:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6699526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marzos/pseuds/Marzos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura needs a summer job; luckily, her best friend Danny is the stage manager at Silas Community theatre, and she gets Laura a job for their summer production of Camelot. The job is great except for the fact that the lead, Carmilla, is the definition of a diva. Laura can't understand why Carmilla takes special delight in annoying her. </p><p>After opening night, Laura finally confronts Carmilla's behavior...but she was not prepared for her answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Handle a Woman

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for everyone that came to the Live Write for this AU! Especially Dusk and Maureen, you guys can always be counted on for great comments and ideas.

Laura Hollis did not have the hands of a murderer. They were small and smooth, although she was starting to work a few callouses helping backstage. The paint on her nails from when she’d painted them light blue was starting to chip. No, these were definitely _not_ the hands one would expect to strangle someone to death.

But that didn’t mean Laura wasn’t considering it.

“How many times do I have to tell you to _get out of our way?”_ Laura hissed.

“You need to stay out of _my_ way.”

“What’s going on here, guys?”

Danny walked up behind them, taking off her headset. Laura crossed her arms.

“Carmilla keeps getting in my way when I’m trying to move set.”

“And she keeps getting in the way when I’m trying to listen for my cue to go onstage.”

“Carmilla--”

“ _And_ that’s my cue.”

She sauntered out, leaving a furious Laura in her wake--a theme for their brief interactions in the few days since Laura had started.

“Well?” Laura asked, turning her attention on Danny.

“What?”

“You’re stage manager. Manage her!”

“I manage _crew,_ Laura, actors are Perry’s job.”

“I--but--Perry can’t do it either.”

Danny shrugged helplessly.

Laura appreciated Danny getting her a job, she really did. College was expensive, and Silas Community Theatre was, overall, a nice place to work. They paid Laura what they could (which was better than nothing) and most of the people were nice. Except for Carmilla.

“She thinks she’s the best because she’s gotten every lead she started auditioning here,” Laura complained, “I’m trying to help build things and she keeps complaining we’re ‘distracting’ her--”

“Laura, calm down,” Danny said, “it’ll be alright. Just ignore her, she’s not worth the mental energy it takes to hate her.”

“I mean I guess, but...but _ugh_. Just ugh.”

Danny smiled. She gave Laura a friendly pat on the shoulder.

“Come on. It’s going to be break soon anyway.”

*

 

There was a noticeable, though unspoken, divide between the cast and crew. The crew sat nearer to the back; actors sat near the front during break, closer to the stage. Occasionally a cast member would wander over to chat with someone, and vice versa, but they never sat down together, save for one exception Laura noticed.

“Who’s that girl sitting with Carmilla? I don’t think she’s part of the cast,” Laura said, sipping the thermos of green tea she brought.

“That’s Ell,” Danny answered, “she does makeup and helps with costumes. They’re, weirdly enough, friends--”

“And totally banging,” added a voice behind them. Danny turned in her seat to glare at LaFontaine.

“Ew, LaF.”

“Oh, come on, they totally are.”

As if on cue Ell laughed at something Carmilla said, hitting her lightly on the arm before she got up and walked away.

“Ell is way too good for her,” Danny said.

“First of all, I said they were banging, not dating,” LaFontaine answered, “second...of course _you_ would think that.”

Laura raised an eyebrow at Danny.

“...We’ve spoken, like, twice,” Danny answered, “she barely knows me.”

Laura couldn’t help but notice the slight grumble in her voice.

“Well, I’d watch you pine,” LaFontaine said, getting up, “but when Perry’s stressed she bakes, and directing Carmilla means I need to make sure she doesn’t eat her way into a sugar coma.”

They walked away, accidentally nudging Laura in the shoulder.

“My shirt!”

“Sorry Laura!”

She looked down at the stain on her shirt; her thermos tipped over. Laura got up.

“It’s alright LaF, I’ll go use the restroom.”

The restroom was near Carmilla, and Laura really didn’t want to deal, so she kept her head down when she walked by...until she heard someone say:

“Come on, Carmilla, one kiss? Just for practice.”

“Fuck off dick head. How many times do I have to tell you I am _gay?”_

Laura turned her head. Theo was leaning in, smiling, and obviously ignoring Carmilla’s murderous tone.

“How can you be so sure if you haven’t tried? Maybe I could change your mind.”

Laura balled her fists. Theo was playing Lancelot, Carmilla was Guinevere, and Laura actually felt a twinge of sympathy for Carmilla having to pretend she was in love with such a creep.

“Theo, _back off._ ”

“Oh come on, Carmilla--”

“She said back off!” Laura exclaimed. She couldn’t stand by idly anymore; she may not have liked Carmilla, but no one deserved _that._ Theo stood up straight again, looking at Laura.

“Excuse me?”

“She is gay,” Laura said, “and I could go into a long explanation on why saying you could ‘change her mind’ is disgusting, but you’re obviously too much of a jerk to care. So instead I’ll just warn you to leave her alone.”

“And I should listen to you _why?”_ Theo asked, taking a step toward her. Laura didn’t back down.

“Because I am a black belt in krav maga, and if I decide to kick you between the legs you’ll never be able to get any girls no matter how low their standards are.”

They stared each other down until Theo huffed, stomping off with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Laura breathed a sigh of relief. “Holy Hufflepuff, that felt good. ‘Course, only thing I would’ve like more is if he gave me a reason to--”

She realized that Carmilla was staring at her, expression unreadable.

“--You know, you don’t have to thank me or anything. I’m gay too and I totally understand creepy guys who think they can ‘turn’ us. Couldn’t leave a girl hanging. The only thing I hate more than a guy who can’t take a hint is one that can and doesn’t care.”

Carmilla kept staring--until, suddenly, she turned away from her.

Okay?

Laura frowned, remembered that she did this for _justice,_ not recognition, and walked into the bathroom.

*

She thought telling off Theo would make Carmilla a little nicer to her, or at least treat her with some grudging respect. The result turned out to be the opposite. Once Laura was solidly on Carmilla’s radar, she took every chance she could to make fun of her.

“Holy shit, it’s a walking power saw.”

Laura glared at Carmilla. “What the heck?”

“What? Oh,” Carmilla put a hand to her chest. “I’m sorry. For a second there I didn’t notice you. That saw is about twice your size, Cupcake.”

“Can you please focus on your job, and I’ll focus on mine? Thanks.”

“I don’t need to focus. I’m just that naturally talented.”

Laura got back at her a couple of times, making sure to swing the hammer or turn on the power saw at _just_ the right moment to startle her onstage and make her voice crack.

Carmilla just fired back by piling on more of her little quips.

“Carmilla, what are you doing here?” Laura asked dryly, noticing Carmilla out of the corner of her eye during a break. Carmilla shrugged.

“Nothing. Just noticing that you’re eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. What are you, five?”

“It is peanut butter and fluff, thank you very much!”

“ _Oh,_ much more mature. Very adult.”

“It’s the only thing my dad knows how to make, okay--”

“Your daddy packs your lunches?”

Laura blushed, crammed the sandwich into her mouth, and turned away.

The sound of the buzzsaw, luckily, drowned out the other noises. Which Carmilla noticed too.

“Perry, do they have to do that while we’re rehearsing?” Carmilla asked, stopping in the middle of her line to look at her. Perry sighed.

“We don’t have somewhere else to build pieces, Carmilla. We barely have a theatre at all. We’ve been over this.”

“I can’t work under these conditions.”

“I can’t work under _your_ conditions!”

Laura stopped the power saw.

“Perry, I am trying to sing and all of this noise--”

“Carmilla, will you _please_ calm down?” Laura interrupted.

Carmilla stopped, looking back at Laura. Laura put a hand on her hip.

“We all have to work in a tight space. Just ‘cause you’re the lead doesn’t mean you get to demand stuff.”

Carmilla glared at her. “I think I deserve a _little_ accomodation, considering this entire show would be shit without me--”

“ _Hey,_ not cool bro!” Kirsch interrupted; he was playing Arthur.

(Although, bless Kirsch’s heart, Carmilla was kind of right about him not being that good.)

“We deserve a little accomodation, considering we have to deal with your ego,” Laura retorted.

In the back, several of the crew members mouthed ‘buuuuurn’.

“Besides,” Laura continued, “we’re making you a set. Camelot can’t be Camelot with a bad set. The show would suck without _us_ too. Unless you want to work on an empty stage.”

Carmilla locked eyes with Laura, and they stared each other down before Carmilla looked away first.

“...Fine, let’s just keep going,” she grumbled.

Laura grinned. She felt invincible--first Theo, now Carmilla. At this rate she was going to have a reputation as the toughest girl at Silas Community theatre.

“Wow, way to stand up to Karnstein, Laura,” Danny said when Laura walked back to where they were working.

“What can I say? I don’t like bullies,” Laura answered, cracking her knuckles, “so can you teach me how to use the power screwdriver now?”

Danny paused.

“Danny…”

“I mean, we’re low on screws--”

“If you could trust me to use a _saw,_ you can trust me to use a _screwdriver._ ”

Danny sighed. “Fine. Here. Just push-- _extremely gently--_ okay?”

Laura placed the tip of the screw gently in the hole Danny had drilled into the wood. Her tongue poked gently beyond her lips as she put the drill bit into the screw head. She pressed the button.

_BZZZZZZZZZZ_

“Hey, see, I can do it just--”

“Hey, new girl!”

_BZZT-BZZT-BZZT!_

“Oh, _daleks!”_ Laura let go. She stripped the screw, and she looked back at whoever interrupted her.

“...Oh. Hey LaFontaine.”

“Hey, Laura.”

“Um, sorry about the screw Danny.”

Danny sighed. “Go talk to LaF. I’ll work on this.”

Laura sheepishly handed her the screwdriver.

“What’s up, LaFontaine? I mean, I’m not sure why you want to talk to me, I’m not on tech crew.”

LaFontaine grabbed Laura’s wrist. “Can you talk to me in the prop room for a second?”

Laura frowned. “Is this something bad?”

“No. There are just--you know--I don’t want _certain people_ to overhear.”

They jerked their head in the direction of Carmilla, with her back turned to them, and Laura got the hint. “Ooooh. Sure, we can go into the prop room.”

The prop room was actually multi-purpose; it was where they kept their costumes, and where the cast waited during shows. The theatre was so small that they had to wait in what was, basically, a basement.

“Okay, what’s up?” Laura asked, when LaFontaine closed the door behind them.

“Here’s the deal,” LaFontaine said, “you seem to be able to get Carmilla to listen to you, which basically makes you a wizard. Perry kind of needs a wizard.”

Laura stared at LaFontaine for a beat.

“Wait, _me?”_ She laughed. “Carmilla doesn’t listen to anyone. She’s a jerk. I can’t get her to do anything.”

“What about when Carmilla was shouting at Kirsch for forgetting his lines and you got her to stop?”

“She didn’t stop, she told me to ‘mind my own damn business.’”

“And then she stopped.”

“Okay, but that was hardly _cooperative--_ ”

“Or yesterday when she was refusing to try on her costume, and you got her to do it?”

“We yelled at each other for, like, ten minutes, and then she threatened to hit me over the head with Merlin’s staff!”

“And then she tried on the costume.”

“I think you’re confusing ‘listens to me’ with ‘gets so distracted hating me that she forgets what she was mad about.’”

LaFontaine crossed their arms. “And what about now, when she stopped fighting with Perry? That was all you.”

Laura didn’t want to believe it; or, well, she _couldn’t_ believe it. But when LaFontaine put it that way, Carmilla did throw temper tantrums...but at the end of the day, she begrudgingly _did_ usually do what Laura wanted.

“So…?”

“I want you to be the official Carmilla Wrangler.”

“‘Carmilla Wrangler?’ I don’t think she’ll appreciate that. Or me, for that matter. Why would I want to make it my job to follow Carmilla around and argue with her over everything?”

LaFontaine ran a hand through their hair. “Laura, listen...Perr is stressed. She’s always stressed. And Carmilla isn’t making it better for her. This is the biggest show we’ve done in years and I’m afraid the pressure is getting to her. It would really help my friend if you kept Carmilla somewhat in line. I mean, you saw the way she acted, she has _no_ respect for Perry.”

Laura bit her lip. LaFontaine raised an eyebrow.

“I can _also_ point out that Perry stress bakes, and during show season, she pretty much does nothing but bake sweets. I’ll pay you in baked goods.”

Laura’s eyes widened.

“So, what _kind_ of baked goods…?”

*

“Laura, these are the best cookies I have ever eaten.”

Laura held the box out proudly. “Take some! Go ahead! There’s plenty more where that came from.”

Danny took another one, popping it in her mouth. “Dear God, are these Reese’s Cups baked into them?”

“Yep.”

“Where did you get the recipe for these?”

Laura bit her lip. On the one hand, LaFontaine kind of implied that this was a deal she shouldn’t be sharing with other people. On the other hand, this was _Danny._ Who could keep a secret.

“Okay, Danny, you can’t tell anyone--but LaFontaine says if I can keep Carmilla in line, they’ll give me all of the stuff Perry bakes.”

Danny wrinkled her nose. “You have to deal with _Carmilla?”_

Danny raised her chin, looking across the auditorium. Ell and Carmilla were sitting together near the front.

“My condolences, Laura.”

“As long as Perry keeps baking like this, it’s worth it,” Laura answered.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Danny asked.

Laura leaned over the chair in front of her to look at them. They looked like they were having a very intimate conversation. Ell was leaning in to talk to her, tucking a strand of blond hair behind her ear. She nodded at Carmilla encouragingly as she spoke. Carmilla, for a brief moment, looked back and Laura turned her head.

“I don’t know. Probably about when they’re going to get married or something. Have you noticed they’ve been practically glued at the hip lately?”

“Yeah,” Danny said, and Laura rolled her eyes.

“You know, you could talk to her too. You’re nice. I’m sure Ell would like you.”

“I don’t know why you seem convinced I want her to notice me,” Danny answered. Laura was entirely unconvinced. Danny stuffed another cookie in her mouth before Laura could push the issue more.

“Hey, ask before you take one of my cookies!”

“I’m doing you a favor, Hollis. I’m not letting my favorite crew member go into a sugar coma. In fact--”

Danny grabbed the box from Laura’s hands.

“HEY!”

Laura dived for the box, and Danny stood up, laughing. “You have to try better than that, Holl--”

Laura tackled Danny in the legs and they both hit the floor.

“Ha! See? Now give me back the box!” Laura said, laughing--

“Having fun, Cupcake?”

Laura glanced up at Carmilla, raising an eyebrow at her. Ell was standing next to her.

“We were going to go outside, but you’re kind of in our way,” Carmilla pointed out, “you two might want to take it to the couch in the basement, ladies.”

Danny was lying right under Laura, and she blushed when she realized that. Laura grabbed the box, wiped her pants, and smiled sheepishly.

“...Cookie?”

Carmilla looked at Laura for a moment. Ell nudged her in the shoulder. They looked at each other for a beat before Carmilla took the cookie gently from Laura’s hand.

“Thanks,” Carmilla grunted, “see you.”

She took Ell’s wrist and pulled them both away.

Danny watched them go. “Wow, did Carmilla just say _thanks?”_

“I think? Or she hiccuped. I’m honestly not sure.”

“Maybe you found her weakness. Baked goods.”

“And Ell, probably.”

“I prefer assuming it’s the baked goods,” Danny replied.

“Of course you do, Danny,” Laura answered, nudging her with a laugh.

“Shut up,” Danny mumbled, before she turned to go backstage. Laura followed her.

*

Carmilla was being weird.

She was still annoying. Still a jerk. But also kind of weird.

“Hey, Cupcake,” Carmilla said, walking down into the basement, throwing her jacket on a chair, and running back up the stairs.

“Did you hear that?” Laura whispered to LaFontaine, helping them dig through boxes for mic tape.

“Um, she just said hi while she threw her jacket down here?”

“Yes! She said ‘hi!’ Not sarcastically or anything! Just _hi._ ”

LaFontaine stopped opening the chest of drawers they kept pushed against the wall of the prop room, looking back at Laura behind them. “Um. And?”

“Isn’t that kind of _weird?_ She’s not nice.”

“We’re two weeks away from opening, Laura. She’s probably just tired. She’s been weirdly docile in general.”

“She has?”

“You haven’t noticed? She’s been quietly grumpy instead of an out and out bitch.”

Laura scratched her head. She hadn’t thought about it. But, while Carmilla was certainly wasn’t skipping off to do whatever anyone asked, it _was_ true that she wasn’t arguing quite so hard when Laura told her to do something.

“I don’t know. She’s been hanging out more with Ell lately?”

“Told you they were banging,” LaFontaine said dryly, opening the bottommost drawer and bending down, “and where the _fuck_ is this mic tape?”

Laura stood on tiptoe. “...Top of the dresser, LaFontaine.”

“Oh.”

Laura climbed back up, sticking a hand in her pocket and pulling out a plastic bag. LaFontaine had just snuck her the weekly pay of baked goods, and this week, Perry made brownies. Carmilla was waiting in the wings to go back on, and Laura stayed out of her way.

Carmilla saw Laura out of the corner of her eye. Laura made a point to look down at the floor.

“Hey.”

Laura looked up. “If you’re about to say something rude, I’d suggest you pay attention to what’s happening onstage, okay?”

Carmilla’s jaw clenched, but she held her tongue.

“I don’t need to say something rude, since you assume I will anyway,” she mumbled.

“What?”

“So how does your body process all that sugar?” Carmilla asked.

Laura wrinkled her nose. “I eat other things.”

“I never see you.”

Awkward silence. Laura remembered what Danny said; maybe baked goods were Carmilla’s weakness.

“Do you want a brownie?” Laura asked.

Before Carmilla could answer, Laura was taking one out of the baggie and holding out her hand.

“Maybe you’d be less grumpy if you had some sugar.”

“Too much sugar causes your blood sugar to spike. Sugar crashes cause bad moods.”

“Are you seriously incapable of not saying something annoying?”

“ _Bitchy,”_ Carmilla corrected. Laura huffed and put the brownie back.

“Fine. I was trying to extend the proverbial olive branch, but fine. Clearly you’d rather set it on fire.”

Carmilla’s jaw worked back and forth, and she rolled her eyes before looking back at the stage. Then she looked back again.

“Well...how are you…?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“What do you think? I just asked. How are you.”

“Wishing you would stop being annoying.”

Carmilla threw her hands in the air. “You know what? You win.”

She took a deep breath, getting herself into character before walking out onto stage.

Laura stuffed the brownie in her mouth, chewing furiously.

*

“Perry, I’m just asking you to hear me out,” Carmilla insisted.

“ _No,_ Carmilla.”

“Camelot would be so much better as a genderbend. You know it would be. I was _born_ to be Lancelot.”

“I’m not going to make Kirsch and Theo learn entirely new parts a day before we open, Carmilla,” Perry said, obviously resigned.

“They barely know their parts now anyway.”

Laura was sitting behind Perry. She rolled her eyes.

“Leave her alone, Carmilla,” Laura said. Carmilla looked at her.

“Don’t you have something to paint, Cupcake?”

“I’m taking a break,” Laura answered.

(In reality, she liked to keep an eye on Carmilla when she was talking to Perry. LaFontaine’s orders. Perry’s kitchen looked like a bakery now that they were in tech week, according to them, and Laura was not going to miss out.)

“Go paint, Laura,” Perry answered, “and Carmilla, I’m in the middle of working out some lighting details, so if you don’t mind.”

Laura looked at her pointedly.

“Alright, _Mom._ ”

Carmilla got up and trudged over to the stage, where Ell was standing off to the side. Everyone in the cast got in on set painting. Laura got up and walked onto the stage, looking at Danny.

“Hey, Danny, you can trust me with paint right?”

“Sure. Here,” Danny handed Laura a paintbrush, “we’re painting the backdrop. Go ahead.”

Laura dropped the brush in a can of blue paint. She turned quickly--in fact, a little too quickly. Paint flew off in little drips.

And of course, who else was the person going to be but Carmilla?

“Oh my God, Carmilla, I--well I mean--sorry--”

Carmilla didn’t say anything. She gently wiped the dots of paint off of her face and smirked.

“Getting a little eager, are we?”

“I should have watched where I was swinging the brush. Sorry.”

Carmilla shrugged. “Don’t be.”

“Hey Carmilla!” Ell came up jogging behind them, stopping. Her overalls were splattered with paint, her blonde hair in a messy bun, and she looked at Carmilla. “Wait, are you actually _working?_ Since when do you paint?”

“You can thank Picasso over here,” Carmilla said.

“Like I said, I’m sorry.”

“And like _I_ said, it’s fine. No worries.”

Laura, pleasantly surprised, blinked. “Oh. Well, thanks--”

“I know how excited toddlers get when they fingerpaint.”

Laura’s mouth fell open.

“Carmilla!” Ell hissed; she grabbed her arm. “We’ve _talked about_ this, remember? Not nice.”

“I can’t help it,” Carmilla answered, smirking.

Laura took a few deep breaths--

And she swiped the brush down, covering Carmilla from the top of her forehead to her chin in a line of blue paint.

Carmilla stared at Laura in shock.

“You’re right, Carmilla. It _is_ exciting.”

Laura turned away and started painting the backdrop.

“Carmilla, _no!”_ Laura heard Ell exclaim, and when no attack from Carmilla came, Laura hummed in satisfaction.

*

“Guys, we have been rehearsing for weeks,” Perry said, “and I know I didn’t always see eye-to-eye with all of you--which, I know, isn’t exactly new--but I am very proud to have worked with such a nice cast. Let’s make this summer show the one that will bring this audience back to every show we do.”

There was no room onstage for the entire cast and crew; they had their pre show ritual outside, in the back of the theatre. It wasn’t particularly nice. There were cigarette butts on the ground and a dumpster behind them.

But Laura couldn’t have been more excited. There was an energy that Laura had never experienced before; this was her first show, after all. They were in a circle holding hands. Perry had hers clasped tightly with LaFontaine’s, her smile tight and tired, but proud. Carmilla was standing with Ell, both of them looking at each other. Laura could see Danny trying not to look at them.

“Let’s pass the energy!” Kirsch exclaimed.

“Everyone close your eyes,” LaFontaine answered, “I’ll start it.”

“What is this?” Laura whispered; she was holding Danny’s hand.

“Just squeeze your hand when you feel someone else squeeze it,” Danny answered.

Okay. Laura closed her eyes. After about ten seconds, she felt her hand being squeezed.

She squeezed back.

She kept her eyes closed after what seemed like forever until finally someone said, “okay, who lost it?”

“Someone started on the other side, I felt my hand get squeezed.”

“I thought you were supposed to squeeze the person’s hand after they squeezed yours?” Laura asked, opening her eyes. Perry looked at her.

“Laura, you’re supposed to squeeze the hand of the person on the _other_ side of you.”

Laura blushed. “Oh. Um, sorry…”

“Smooooth, Sundance,” Carmilla drawled out. Everyone laughed. Laura pouted.

“Okay, we’re all freaking awesome, we don’t need energy,” LaFontaine said, “as it is we’re running kind of low on time so let’s just go in.”

Laura lagged behind them. Danny nudged her.

“It’s not that big a deal, Hollis,” Danny said, smiling at her.

“Thanks Danny.”

“You should. Just a warning though, once we’re in the middle of the show, I can get kind of...intense.”

“Okay?”

“So if I say anything extremely hurtful, that’s Stage Manager Danny, not Your Friend Danny.”

“...I’ll remember that.”

Laura went inside. The cast was getting their makeup on. Ell was bending uncomfortably in front of a mirror while she played with Carmilla’s hair.

“You are going to look so gorgeous, Carmilla,” Ell said.

“You mean more than normal?”

“Haha. I mean it though. But your hair is going to look great once we curl it. It’ll make it a little shorter, and your natural curls will be much more defined.”

Carmilla nodded while Ell’s fingers worked their way through her scalp. Her eyes started to close.

Gross.

“Hey, Cupcake,” Carmilla opened one eye. Laura froze and looked at her.

“What?”

“You ready for the show?”

“Why?”

“Carm knows this is your first show,” Ell interrupted, “she just wants you to know that you’ll do fine. Right Carm?”

She looked down at Carmilla pointedly. Laura saw Ell’s fingers dig just a little harder into Carmilla’s hair.

“Uh...yeah...sure.”

“That sounds really enthusiastic,” Laura answered, “but I appreciate you listening to your girlfriend, at least.”

“Wait, you--”

Laura walked upstairs before Carmilla could finish her reply.

“Hollis?”

“Danny! Hey, are we--”

“What are you doing? _Get to your spot!”_

“Wait, what--”

“Come on!”

She pushed Laura in the right direction. Immediately she turned.

“And _hey!_ You, you need to get out of the way, has the show started? No, so _go downstairs,_ you’ll see the audience when we start, you do not need to wave at your grandmother right now!”

Laura blinked at Danny’s retreating back.

“Danny in the zone?”

“Oh! LaFontaine,” Laura noticed that their face was covered in mic tape. She decided not to question it. “Uh, yeah, Danny is ‘in the zone’ I guess, if that means she’s yelling at everyone.”

“I just wanted to give you this.”

LaFontaine held out a cupcake. “They were so good I ate the rest, but I saved one for you. Here’s your last ‘payment.’”

“Thanks!”

“Got to go to the booth, but break a leg! Or, like, don’t. Do you still say break a leg for the crew?”

Laura shrugged. She waved at LaFontaine as they walked away--or more like jogged. No one just _walked,_ Laura noticed. The closer they got to show day, the faster everyone moved. And now it was opening night and everyone was running all over the place.

“ _Let’s go!”_ Danny whispered into the headset, pushing past Laura, “get ready!”

Laura took a deep breath and went to her place.

*

Carmilla walked into the prop room at the end of act two and gasped out, “ _water._ ”

Everyone else was busy. Laura was getting water herself--it was really, _really_ hot backstage--and she instinctively, because she was not a horrible person, held out her bottle.

“Hey Carmilla--”

She grabbed the bottle and, unceremoniously, dumped the contents on her head.

“Thanks,” she breathed. She handed the bottle back and collapsed in a chair.

Laura crushed the bottle, finding the _crunch_ rather satisfying.

“I _cannot believe_ her,” Laura growled. She felt someone push past her, and when she regained her footing, she realized it was Kirsch.

“Hey, Broody Show Wife! You alright bro?”

“I told you not to call me that,” Carmilla answered; Ell was waving a program in front of Carmilla’s face like a fan. Laura edged a little closer to them.

“What’s wrong?”

“This costume is fucking hot, that’s what’s wrong.”

Laura looked Carmilla over. Her face was flushed, hair hanging limp around her shoulders, the dress long sleeved with layers and a capelet. It _did_ look hot.

“Is she going to be alright?” Laura asked, when Ell walked away--presumably to get a curling iron, since Carmilla needed her hair recurled.

“She’s a pro, she’ll jump right back into it,” Ell answered, “did she take your water?”

“Oh. Uh--yeah. She just grabbed it and dumped on her head. Which is fine! I mean I was mad at the time but I didn’t realize she was, you know, having heat stroke.”

“She’s not as bad as you make her out to be, you know,” Ell answered, “she doesn’t mean most of what she says. Well, I mean, not in the way you take it…”

“Of course you would say that,” Laura pointed out. Ell opened her mouth to respond, but looked back at Carmilla, biting her lip.

“I need to go plug this in,” Ell said, bending down and grabbing the curling iron off the floor, “we’re selling concessions up front and I’m sure they’ll give you another bottle if you ask.”

She went to the other side of the room and plugged in her curling iron. Laura took one more look at Carmilla--she really did hope she was okay. She may have hated her, but she didn’t want her to _die._

Plus, she had to admit, without her doing the show would be kind of...boring.

*

“WE DID IT!”

As soon as the curtain closed Danny ripped off her headset. She fist pumped, several times, and grabbed Laura for a hug that was so enthusiastic it lifted Laura off the floor.

“Nothing went wrong! Mostly. And see, Laura? You survived, you totally got this!”

“Thanks Danny, but...can’t breathe…”

“Sorry,” Danny dropped her, “but man it was awesome. Everything went so smoothly! It was like a professional production, did you see that?”

“Um, I saw it, because I was one of the people on crew, remember?”

“Right. Right. Where are we going when we finish cleaning up?”

“I thought home?”

“What? No, I mean for food. The cast and crew always go out to eat afterward. Usually Red Robin or Applebee’s. LaFontaine would know--you can go ask them.”

“Where would they be?”

“Probably in the prop room getting the casts’ mics off. I’m going to go take a quick once over, see if anyone has left props lying around.”

Laura nodded. She climbed down into the basement, pushing her way through the crowded space. She saw her little corner where she left her stuff--just her backpack with a change of clothes stuffed into it, since she was forced to wear all black for the show--and noticed something sticking out of it.

“What the…?”

Laura walked over. She reached a hand in and--yep. It was. A real, honest to God rose.

Laura plucked it up by the stem. There was a little card attached to it, which read:

_To my favorite part of the show ;)_

Laura’s mouth dropped open. She saw LaFontaine, waving them over.

“Hey, LaF, look at this!”

LaFontaine read the card and whistled. “I didn’t know you got around, Hollis.”

“I don’t! I have no idea who gave me this! I’m not even _in_ the cast. Like, a lot of the cast members had people send them flowers, but I’m on _crew._ Who would give me a flower? It must be a mistake.”

“I dunno. Maybe it was Danny?”

“Danny…?”

Laura nodded. It made sense. They hung out a lot, they were friends, she definitely was nice enough to do something like that…

But there was a winky face. What the heck was that? That was _not_ friendly.

Danny obviously had the weird admiring from afar thing going with Ell, but maybe she’d gotten over that.

Laura’s face turned red and LaFontaine smirked.

“Well, I’ll leave you to dealing with that. Anyway, we’re going to Red Robin. Bring your lady friend along, whoever it is.”

They walked away. Laura bit her lip rather severely. It was true, she was really good friends with Danny, but _date_ her? She just wasn’t sure. Laura had a crush on her for a month or two, but she’d gotten over it. Plus, she was way too tall, it’d be kind of difficult to date someone you had to jump up to kiss…

Clearly, this needed to be handled really carefully.

Laura grabbed her backpack, sticking the rose back inside, and ran back up to find Danny.

“Stupid idiots chewing gum backstage…” Danny grumbled, her nose wrinkled in disgust; Laura ran into her. “Hey! Laura, where are we going?”

“Red Robin.”

“Cool. I’ll see you there then?”

“Just a second! I, uh...wanted to thank you for the flower you put in my bag--”

“Wait, when did I do that?”

“--it was really sweet of you, but I think for the sake of our friendship I should tell you--”

“Laura, I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

“--You’re awesome and everything but I’m just not interested, it’s really not you, it’s me--”

“ _Laura,”_ Danny walked forward and grabbed her shoulders. “I _do not_ know what you are referring to.”

Laura finally shut her mouth. When she opened it again, she asked, “then who the Hufflepuff gave me a rose?”

“Someone gave you a rose?”

“Yes! You mean it wasn’t you?”

“No,” Danny shook her head, “you should be glad I didn’t either, because that was the worst way to turn someone down. ‘It’s not you, it’s me?’ Kind of cliche.”

“I was caught off guard, okay? I didn’t have time to prepare!”

“Didn’t even leave a name…?”

“No--here, I’ll show you.”

Laura put her bag back on the ground, taking the rose out again, taking the card and holding it in front of her.

“See? ‘To Laura: to my favorite part of the show--winky face.’ But it’s unsigned, not even like, the person’s initials.”

“What about what’s written on the back?”

Laura frowned. “What’s on the back?”

“I can’t tell, your hand is covering most of it.”

Laura flipped the card around, holding the edges of the card. In large, loopy cursive:

_Cupcake_

Cupcake?

Laura gasped. “ _CUPCAKE?”_

“Whoa, Laura!” Danny held up her hands. “Let’s calm down?”

“ _Cupcake._ You know who calls me Cupcake? Carmilla. Carmilla calls me Cupcake and that _jerk_ bought a flower to mess with me, I mean this is _so_ condescending, a winky face? That--that JERK!”

Laura crumpled up the card in her hand. “Where is she?”

“I think she left,” Danny said, frowning, “you want me to help you think of something equally condescending I can help you do to her tomorrow? That _is_ pretty bitchy.”

“Oh _no,”_ Laura grabbed Danny’s wrist, “the cast is going to Red Robin. We are settling this _right now.”_

“What’s the plan?”

“Leave that to me,” Laura answered, “I have a plan.”

*

So Laura didn’t have a plan.

Her thinking basically went like this; she was very, very angry at Carmilla. She had a lot of things she wanted to say to Carmilla. _What_ exactly she would say, well, that part she hadn’t quite figured out. But it would be at Red Robin. Public humiliation would be the ultimate revenge.

As soon as she got out of the car with Danny (who drove both of them) she made a beeline for the door, throwing it open dramatically.

“Where is Carmilla?” Laura said, scanning the tables.

“Listen Laura,” Danny jogged up next to her, “I hate Carmilla just as much as you, but I should warn you that you should probably be careful not to--”

“ _There!”_

She was sitting at a table with Ell and Kirsch. Carmilla had a glass tipped at a severe angle over her mouth, taking deep gulps. Suddenly she slammed the glass on the table, raising a fist in the air and wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her other arm.

“ _Ha!_ I told you Kirsch, no one can drink faster than Carmilla Karnstein.”

“Bro, how did you not spill anything?”

(His shirt was covered with milkshake and whipped cream.)

“Because I’m also classy as fuck,” Carmilla answered smugly. Ell rolled her eyes.

“Carm, there are other people trying to eat. Like me. I really don’t need to watch you and Kirsch chug milkshakes until one of you chokes--”

“ _Carmilla Karnstein._ ”

Every head at the table turned to look at Laura. Carmilla wiped her mouth with her napkin, sitting up straighter.

“Cupcake, what’s up?”

“I got your ‘gift.’”

Laura held up the rose.

“You...did.”

“Yes.”

Carmilla ran a hand through her hair. “Well, what did you think?”

“What did I think? What did I _think?_ Carmilla, since I started working here you have been rude, condescending, horrible, and just an all around bad person toward me. And I have _tried_ to be nice, or at least not instigate anything, but this? _This_ is the last straw. This was so passive aggressive. Just because you’re the lead and everyone, like, showers you with praise and flowers and stuff doesn’t mean that you’re any better than me, and you don’t get to give me flowers as a joke so you can probably laugh about it with your friends! _This_ \--”

Laura ripped the top of the rose off and threw it. Ell leaned back, and it hit Carmilla in the face before falling on the table.

“--Is what I thought of it!”

The entire table went silent. Danny was standing to the side of Laura, daring Carmilla to say something.

Laura finally confronted Carmilla, once and for all. She felt amazing. Fantastic. Invincible--

“...It wasn’t a joke,” Carmilla said softly, looking down at the flower.

\--like a total _dick._

“Wait, _what?”_

Ell finally decided that being in between them was too dangerous, and she scrambled to her feet.

“It wasn’t a joke, Laura.”

“How is it not a joke? ‘To my favorite part of the show?’ With a winky face?”

“Wait, _what?”_ Ell grabbed the card Laura was holding. She read it and looked back at Carmilla.

“ _That_ is what you write? Do you ever just _listen_ to what I tell you?”

“I told you Ell, I don’t do feelings well, okay?”

“Wait, you’re not angry about Carmilla flirting with someone else?” Danny asked.

“...Oh my God, is that really still a rumor? I am not dating Carmilla.”

“But you’re totally banging, right?”

Ell’s cheeks turned pink, and she looked at Laura. “ _Ew._ No. That is gross.”

“But what about spending all that time together? All of the times you guys would sneak off and stuff?”

“Oh my God, we were talking about _you._ ”

Laura honestly felt like she was going to faint. _“Me?”_

All three of them looked at Carmilla.

“I told you to come out and tell her,” Ell said, “but _no,_ when you have a crush on a girl you act like a preteen boy.”

“She thought I sent it to her at first,” Danny added, “this is all a gigantic mess.”

Ell looked at Danny. “She _did?_ Wow. Carmilla, you are my best friend, but you are an idiot.”

“You guys were...talking...about me…”

“‘Ell, that Laura girl is sooooo annoying, but when she threatened to punch out Theo it was the hottest thing I have ever seen, what do I do now?’” Ell said, mimicking Carmilla’s voice, “and I was like, ‘just be nice to her, Carm!’ And of course Carmilla is terrible at feelings so she can’t do that right. I _thought,_ hey, maybe I could be a good wingwoman. Maybe I could give her an idea. So I told her to write a note! Maybe a note would work better because she doesn’t have to be face to face--”

She waved the crumpled card, “--and _this_ is what you think will win her over?”

Carmilla, at this point, had slumped so low in her seat that she was almost underneath the table.

“Can someone hand me a fork so I can stab myself and get out of this conversation?” Carmilla grumbled.

“Our friends are both idiots,” Danny grumbled. Ell looked at her and smiled.

“That is true. Lovable idiots.”

“Definitely.”

Laura’s face was heating up. She was pretty sure she was running a slight fever at this point. “Um. I feel kind of bad now.”

“You should,” Carmilla responded.

“Uh…”

“ _Maybe,_ you should eat dinner with Carmilla,” Ell said, motioning ‘speed up’ with her hands.

“I don’t even want to be here anymore.” Carmilla answered, “this whole experience has been pretty mortifying.”

“Then get your own table,” Ell suggested, “in fact, Laura, come here.”

“Wait, wait, I don’t think--”

“I have been working over a month to get Carmilla to ask you out and I am tired of waiting, _sit._ ”

She sat Laura down in the chair.

“But Ell, there are no more seats at the table--”

“I can sit somewhere else,” she looked at Danny, “hey, you’re the stage manager, right? Danny?”

Danny nodded. “Uh, yeah, that’s me.”

“Want to have dinner with me while our idiot friends work this out?”

Danny’s eyes widened. “Oh. Uh, sure. Why not.”

“Awesome, I’ll be over at that table in the corner. That way if it goes wrong we can stop them from killing each other.”

Ell walked away to sit down at the table. Danny watched her retreating back.

“I didn’t know you wanted to bang Ell,” Carmilla said.

“ _Whoa,”_ Danny wrinkled her nose, “who said--”

“The eye fucking you’re doing says it all, Red.”

“ _Shut up,”_ Laura interrupted, “Danny, this night has kind of been a disaster. So I guess you can do whatever you want.”

“I don’t know, I think it went pretty well,” Danny said, grinning, “if you hurt my friend I’ll kill you Elvira.”

“Likewise,” Carmilla answered smoothly, and Danny gave a mock salute before going to sit down at the table with Ell.

Carmilla looked at Kirsch. “Hey, Dog Boy.”

“Uh--look bro, if you need space and stuff--”

“Yes--please. Yes, please.”

Kirsch almost stumbled out of the chair from how fast he scrambled away from them.

And Carmilla and Laura were alone.

“So...let me get this straight. According to what Ell said, you have liked me since I stood up to Theo?”

Carmilla sighed. “Yes.”

“But that was only, like, a week or two after I started working here--”

Carmilla nodded silently.

Laura couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. “Wow, really? Interesting. So, when you were acting all weird and jerky, but like, a muted kind of jerky, it was because you _liked_ me?”

“Seriously, can you hand me your knife so I can end this conversation.”

“So is that why I was the only one that could get you to listen? Wow. You know, LaF was giving me cookies to keep you in line.”

Carmilla stared at her. “ _Seriously?_ That fucking...wow, if you weren’t here I’d go find their table.”

“It’s not like you’ve been particularly nice.”

“You know what, neither have you. If you had stopped treating me like Lucifer for two seconds, maybe it would have been easier to admit I liked you.”

“If you had actually _told me_ you liked me instead of being a ‘preteen boy’ like Ell said, maybe I would have noticed!”

“I was embarrassed, okay?”

“Well, after you acted like that, can you blame me for judging you?”

They both paused when the waiter came. Laura ordered a milkshake.

“Me too,” Carmilla said, raising a hand.

Laura sighed. “...wait a sec. So, you were too proud.”

“I guess.”

“And I was prejudiced.”

“Sure…?”

Laura grinned. “Doesn’t that totally make us Lizzie and Darcy?”

Carmilla tilted her head. “What?”

“Yes, you’ve totally been William Darcy-ing me! You were all bad with feelings, so you tried to be nice but like, really awkwardly, so I still thought you were being a jerk.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow. “I’ve read that book too, you know. _You_ were so stubborn and convinced I could not be nice that you refused to see me as anything else but a horrible person. When I actually _tried.”_

“Tried _badly.”_

“Well you weren’t exactly giving me a lot to work with!” Carmilla snapped.

Laura deflated. “Well, I guess...we were both not being fair.”

“I guess…”

“But...you know how it ended right?”

Carmilla gazed at Laura suspiciously. “Well, yeah, but this isn’t some drama novel.”

“No, but I’ve always wanted my life to be like one.”

“Laura Hollis, are you flirting with me?”

She frowned. “No. I mean, maybe? You’re definitely, um, attractive...so I guess I’ll give you one dinner to prove to me that you can be _pleasant._ ”

“Oooh boy, you’re really twisting my arm,” Carmilla cracked her knuckles, “but alright.”

The waitress came back with their milkshakes. Carmilla was about to take a sip of hers when Laura grabbed her wrist.

“Hey. wait,” she smirked, “I saw that you and Kirsch were trying to outdrink each other.”

“Kirsch was trying. I don’t need to try. I just do.”

Laura was desperate to break the ice, and this seemed like a good way to do it. “Want to challenge me?”

She laughed. “You? Alright, if you think you can _handle_ it.”

“You are _on._ ”

They both grabbed their glasses.

“Three,” Carmilla said.

“Two.”

“One.”

“DRINK!”

Laura tipped her glass back. Carmilla did the same. Laura fought the urge to cough as the liquid slid down her throat, and she closed her eyes. When she finished, she slammed her glass on the ground--a second before Carmilla.

“HA! I beat you and--ow, ow, _ow,_ brain freeze.”

Laura held her head. Carmilla was staring at her.

“What, Carmilla?”

She smiled. “You can drink me under the table. I like a girl that can drink me under the table.”

“Oh, come on, these are milkshakes. Not shots.”

Carmilla leaned in. “We can go to a bar after this and see how you do with shots, cutie.”

Laura’s mouth opened. “Oh--uh-- _wow_ \--that is a flattering offer--”

Carmilla laughed. “I am _kidding,_ Laura.”

Laura blew out a breath. “Right. Okay. Sure.”

“Also, you’ve got whipped cream. A little something, you know,” Carmilla leaned in and wiped it off the tip of her nose, “here.”

She licked it delicately off her finger and Laura squirmed in her seat.

“Okay, I said you need to show me that you’re _pleasant,”_ Laura said, “I said _pleasant,_ not _sexual._ I already knew you could do that.”

“What, a girl can’t be both?”

Laura was not prepared for this. She didn’t know how to respond to any of this. So she looked down at her menu and squeaked out, “OH LOOK BURGERS. Did you see that this one has _ramen noodles_ as buns? THAT IS WITCHCRAFT.”

Carmilla laughed, leaning back in her seat and watching Laura fondly.

*

“Laura, come on! You’ll be late to the last energy circle.”

Danny motioned for Laura with her head. She already was holding Ell’s hand.

“Coming!”

Laura pushed her way through the people, having a very specific destination in mind. She found her way to Carmilla, wedging herself between her and Theo.

“Thanks Cupcake,” Carmilla breathed.

“No problem,” Laura mouthed.

“So, our closing night,” Perry announced, “first of all: thank God.”

Everyone laughed.

“But honestly, I say this every year, but I’ll say it again. As stressful as this process has been, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’m very proud of every single one of you. This year has certainly had some interesting developments…”

Laura could feel people sneaking looks at her and Carmilla; Ell and Danny didn’t even try to hide it. LaFontaine went so far as wiggling their eyebrows.

“...And as always, you’ve all done a great job. Let’s have one more fantastic night!”

Perry closed her eyes and everyone else followed. When Laura felt Carmilla squeeze her hand, she smiled and passed it along.

“Alright, let’s ROCK IT!” Kirsch bellowed, and everyone cheered before walking back inside.

“Hey, Laura,” Carmilla nudged Laura’s shoulder, “nice job doing it right.”

“I haven’t messed up since opening night, Carm, you can stop bringing it up.”

“But I’m such a lovable asshole. How can I be your lovable asshole if you don’t let me?”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Just go get your makeup,” she answered, pushing Carmilla forward.

Carmilla flashed the devil’s horns back at Laura before walking inside.

“Laura,” Danny said, walking up behind her, “you guys have been friendly since opening night.”

“Yeah, we have been.”

“What’s happening?”

“Uh--well--I think we’re dating?”

“So you guys have kissed?”

“Well, no.”

Danny laughed. “Seriously? You guys are practically joined at the hip.”

“Well, have you and Ell?”

Danny’s smile fell. “Uh, no, but we’re not dating.”

“You guys have seemed _friendly_ since opening night too.”

“...Just get ready for the show,” Danny answered.

“That’s what I thought,” Laura answered, turning and walking inside.

“Cupcake,” Carmilla smiled at her from her seat, where Ell was pinning her hair, “closing night.”

“Yeah!”

“Am I going to see you after the show is over?”

Laura laughed softly. “I mean...yeah. Probably. We live in the same town, we probably will run into each other at the grocery store or something--”

Carmilla frowned. “Wow, and here I thought I was _special.”_

“Of _course_ I think you’re special,” Laura answered immediately.

Ell grinned at Laura.

Carmilla’s face turned as red as Laura’s.

“You can’t be surprised,” Ell joked, “Carm, you have to be special if Laura is willing to give you a chance after that disaster of a courtship.”

Laura silently thanked Ell for cutting the awkwardness.

“Okay, Carm,” Ell said, “you’re ready, you can go up now.”

“Alright,” Carmilla stood, “wish me luck, cutie.”

“Isn’t _that_ bad luck?”

“Right. Break a leg then.”

“Right. Break a leg. Break both your legs. Heck, get hit by a bus.”

Carmilla shook her head fondly before hitching up her costume and heading upstairs. Laura hit her palm to her face.

“Oh my God…’get hit by a bus?’ Did I really just say that? Did I _really_ say that?”

“I think you just did,” Ell answered.

“Not helping.”

“If it helps, Danny hasn’t kissed me either? Or made a move or anything like that?”

“Yeah but Danny is, like, a puppy. Carmilla is like a panther. It’s like, _wow,_ she’s super attractive and awesome when she’s around you and purring and stuff, but I’ve seen her when she’s not so nice and then it’s all claws and teeth and tearing up your curtains and--wow this analogy is getting away from me.”

Ell shrugged. “Carmilla likes you,” Ell said, “and as her best friend of several years, I can tell you that she doesn’t drop people easily. You’d have to do a _lot._ She is the most loyal person I know.”

Laura sighed. “I feel like I should, like... _do_ something. Carmilla isn’t great at talking about feelings. And I’m not so great either, to be honest…but I should probably go up too.”

They were interrupted by Danny walking down the stairs, hands clasped behind her back. Ell smiled at her.

“Danny! Hey--”

Danny held out her hand. “Go on a date with me?”

Ell stared down at Danny’s hand.

“...Are you seriously asking me out with a chocolate bar?”

“I thought it’d be cute?”

Ell started laughing.

“This is so ridiculous I can’t even.”

Danny frowned. “I’m...you know, this was kind of a spur of the moment thing--”

Ell grabbed Danny and pulled her in for a quick kiss. “That was really _sweet_ of you Danny.”

Danny looked absolutely stunned for a moment before finally saying, “that is horrible.”

“Yes. But you kind of deserved that.”

“Wow, congratulations, you guys are disgusting,” Laura answered, “I am going to go up now.”

Carmilla was not as stupidly sentimental as them. That would totally never work.

Then again...Carmilla was being mean to Laura because she had a crush on her. And then gave her a red rose. With a winky face.

Laura fished in her purse to see how much money she had.

*

“Who wants to go to Applebees?” LaFontaine shouted, bursting into the basement to grab their coat. The entire cast cheered.

“This has gone so well this year,” Perry said, talking to Laura, “you can come back whenever you want. It’s been very nice having you here.”

“Thanks Perry,” Laura said distractedly, searching the mass of cast members for Carmilla. She was starting to think that maybe she would find it ridiculous--

“Laura.”

Laura locked eyes with Carmilla from across the short distance of the basement.

Carmilla raised an eyebrow and held up the flower and card.

“Is this your rose?”

“Uh...yes.”

“And you, _seriously,_ signed it ‘to my biggest pain in the ass; if I should ever leave you, let it not be after this show is over, signed your new biggest fan?’”

“...Danny asked Ell out with a chocolate bar. At least I was kind of creative.”

Carmilla shook her head. “You are a dork.”

“You couldn’t even ask me out for two months because you were unable to process normal human emotions.”

“Yeah...and hey,” she took a bouquet sitting in her little corner, “I got you something.”

“Are. You. Serious. That is not fair! You cannot give me a bouquet!”

Carmilla shrugged. “Read the card, though.”

Laura grabbed the card.

_To My Elizabeth Bennett,_

_Meeting you was like getting hit by a bus._

_From, Darcy_

Laura narrowed her eyes. “Is the assholeishness of the card supposed to cancel out the bouquet?”

“A bit. Although I _did_ write something a lot nicer. Your ‘get hit by a bus’ comment was just too brilliant not to use. And come on, I made the Pride and Prejudice reference. You have to give me some credit for that.”

“That makes the gift pretty much neutral, though.”

Carmilla reached out a hand, trailing her fingers down Laura’s arm.

“Even if I added a kiss to go with it?”

Laura looked around them. She grabbed Carmilla’s wrist and hissed, _“outside.”_

As soon as she pulled her out, Carmilla stammered, “wait, wait, if I was being too forward I’m sorry--”

“I didn’t want everyone to watch,” Laura explained, interrupting her, “you are most definitely _not_ being too forward.”

Carmilla took a beat to take Laura in, licked her lips, and then with one sudden motion smoothly tugged Laura in and kissed her.

Laura tensed for a very brief moment before dropping the bouquet from her hands, tangling them in Carmilla’s hair--Carmilla’s thick, very soft, _very nice_ hair--pulling Carmilla in closer when it felt like she was trying to pull back. Carmilla had no problem with it.

It was their first kiss, behind a run down community theatre, in an alley, next to a dumpster.

It was also perfect.

“So…?” Carmilla trailed off, watching Laura when they both had to pull back for air. “What’d you think…?”

Laura’s brain was short circuiting. She finally stammered out, “like...getting hit by a bus.”

Carmilla burst into laughter, hugging Laura close to her until they both composed themselves enough to walk hand in hand back inside.

 

 


End file.
